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Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Day-to-Day Joys of Living in Tucson

I get some of the best raw material for this blog while driving to and from work.  Nope, I rarely listen to talk radio.  I may be singing along with Johnny Cash or John Fogerty having a good time.  But there's always some reminder that I'm in Tucson.  (For those of you who don't know, Tucson is a fetid pustule of zombie infested liberalism):
  • Two lane roads ("arteries") that should have been widened to 4 lanes 25 years ago and would have been were it not for compleat idiot and traitor Raul Grijalva.  You may recall seeing him on TV as our congressman calling for a boycott of Arizona business over SB 1070.  Well, he was Chair of the county board of supervisors way back in his career.  His asinine "no sprawl" doctrine was supposed to be enforced by keeping the roads small.  GUESS WHAT?  Sprawl came anyway and now 100,000 people commute through capillaries.
  • 3 out of 5 drivers are drooling, addle-minded zombies whose eyes are glazed over and who have one speed: 8 mph under whatever the posted speed is.  This, combined with the above mentioned capillaries, means that traffic is EXACTLY synchronized to miss every green light.  And if you give it a few moments reflection, it dawns on you that this also creates a no-win situation.  Even if you manage to get around the zombie leading your particular pack, you can enjoy the speed limit for only a short time before you come up to the back of the next procession.
  • Bumper stickers - oh, my goodness, the bumper stickers.  Conservatives and moderates have pretty clean and nice cars.  The other 60% of Tucson drive old, beat-up Yugos or Gremlins or Datsuns that are plastered with obscene and annoying liberal fare. 
  • Abundant potholes, dreary, rundown small business buildings, graffiti scrawled everywhere.  Its a depressing place.
  • The local (and only) newspaper, the Arizona Daily ("Red") Star, can be counted on to consistently deliver the Marxist version of the facts.  When the economy tanked in 2008, the editorial cartoonist David Fitzsimmons chastised us locals for reading the Star online instead of buying the hardcopy version.
And so on.  Now, I realize these are fairly small items in the grand scheme of things.  But everyone already knows the big stuff, like the locals screaming hate speech for the State not allowing the Mexican-American Studies curriculum to indoctrinate Latino children that they have been and continue to be oppressed by the white man, and that this land belongs to them; like Tucson being part of a state that singles out poor illegal (wait, what was that word again?) migrants - not aliens - to be singled out and cast into the outer darkness south of the border; that, in spite of the evidence, Gabrielle Giffords was shot by a wacko who must be part of the vast right wing conspiracy...

So why do I live here?  I was raised here, but that's not a good reason by itself.  I have a good job at the "world-class" university here while Tucson's overall population's average income is somewhere around $23k last time I checked.  But in spite of the major drawback that Tucson is in the middle of it, it's the Sonoran desert and its climate that keeps me here, at least for now.


  1. My mother used to live in Camp Verde. I loved to visit in January in a T-shirt while the locals wore jackets in the 70 degree weather.

    I'm going to let you in on a little secret. When liberal Californians (not liberal enough for San Francisco standards)leave California they settle in places like Las Vegas and Phoenix. Some have to have landed in Tucson.

  2. By the way, do you ever go here? http://selfevidenttruths-euripides.blogspot.com/

    Another Conservative college professor from Arizona

  3. Been thru Camp Verde a lot, beautiful country up there. The influx of Californians is well known here as thar was a big factor in driving up housing pruces before the bubble burst.

    Re: Self evident truths, yes...amazing to have 2 conservatives in lower ed in Arizona!!!


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