By all reports, President Obama's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program is going slowly. Concerned that eligible immigrants will not be able to financially sustain themselves while awaiting approval, Mr. Obama's creative mind has created a pilot emergency program called the Welfare Expedited Test for DREAMers. Referring back to his being denied a "normal" upbringing, the president said that the program was based loosely on experiences he was denied in his adolescent years. The President stated he was personally eager to track its progress.
Meanwhile, House Republicans, wanting to show their disdain for Obama's programs while at the same time appearing concerned, have put forward their own version of the amnesty program. This would provide means for an immigrant who came to the U.S. as a child to be taken under the custodial wing of a caring Democrat. Referred to as Custodial Action for Childhood Arrivals, or CACA, Senator Hairy Reid said flatly that the bill wasn't going anywhere, and he wasn't going to take any crap over it.
In other news, when asked by a reporter about the president's reaction to the recent legalization of marijuana in a number of states, White House spokesman Jay Carnage coyly responded that the president was "highly" concerned about the effects of inequities between the different states (e.g., large population migrations), and was considering an executive order titled, Regulation of Extended Equity for Energy Reciprocity. When asked what energy reciprocity was, and what it had to do with legalization of marijuana, Carnage replied that it was patently obvious and that he wasn't going to waste his time explaining banal trivialities.
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